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An Interview with Mistress Lubyanka

Mistress Lubyanka and I first encountered each other on a message board some while ago. As a Russian working in the UK I thought it would be interesting to drop in on her mail box and see what she thought of the world...

The question I always start with is what made you decide to become a professional dominatrix?
I had been "playing" in the scene since shortly after I arrived in London almost eight years ago - firstly with friends and then, as time went by, at various parties and clubs. Quite a few people suggested, as I seemed to be "a natural" when in role as a Mistress I should consider it as a career. At first I didn't take such suggestions seriously. Then I began meeting professional dommes at various events and found out a little more about their work. The idea of combining a passion and a career began to appeal more and more. Having the opportunity to "play" more frequently without having to worry about my studies or "day-job" made a lot of sense. And, so it was that last year (2002) I decided to give it a try. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made and so far I have enjoyed it immensely. Working as a professional allows me the freedom and time to devote to my "play" which I could never have afforded as an amateur. It's enabled me to devote time to perfecting some areas which I didn't have too much experience in and also to try lots of new things. The only way I can describe how fortunate I am to somebody who can't appreciate it is to ask them to think of their favourite activity/hobby (golf, football, singing or whatever) and to ask themselves how they would feel if somebody offered them the opportunity to become a professional?

As a Russian living in the UK, how do you find attitudes vary between the two countries to BDSM?
When I left Russia eight years ago the whole fetish and bdsm scene was relatively unknown. However, it doesn't take Russians long to catch on to something from the West and it appears bdsm is becoming quite popular in the major cities such as Moscow, St Petersburg etc. with the younger generation. I think that as time goes by bdsm could well become as popular in Russia as the UK or Germany. Attitudes towards non-mainstream activities are quite relaxed there and the younger generation are always keen to try something new. As for the older generation, they have had so much to cope with and get used to over recent years bdsm simply wouldn't register on their "to think about" scale. When I've shared details of my passion with Russian girl friends most have overcome their initial surprise very quickly and have been absolutely delighted by the concept. A number have even persuaded their partners to indulge.

Have you noticed any differences between rubberists and "smers" when it comes to sessions?
In my experience rubberists are quite specialist and tend to derive as much or almost as much pleasure from the act of wearing of rubber themselves or by me wearing it as any activity that might take place during a session. Each rubberist derives his or her own pleasure from rubber, be it the feeling of restriction or cool sensation of the texture it provides. The act of dressing itself seems to provide a high and so by the time any play starts they're often already "halfway to heaven!"

Paying for domination has traditionally been a male activity. Have you
noticed a change in attitude amongst women to hiring a professional
Mistress?
It's a little difficult for me to answer in that I have only been a professional Mistress for one year now and don't really have sufficient experience to have noticed any changing trends. However, I can tell you that women do come to see me - alone and also with their partners. Some want to serve me alongside their partners and others wish to dominate them with me. There are also some women who send their partners to me. However, I would say that the number of women is very small compared to the number of men.

What do you hope a slave takes away from a session with you?
I hope a slave takes away from a session the memory of a fantastic "trip" or "high", with his or her physical and mental emotions slowly and gradually subsiding over the subsequent days. I want him to feel he has been snared into my world and to sense an irresistible urge to serve me again and again. One of my slaves recently sent me an email the day after a session. He said he had been on such a high during the drive home, replaying things that happened during the session over and over in his mind that he had taken a wrong turning and got totally lost. Whilst I wouldn't wish for all of my slaves to get lost on the way home I must admit to getting quite a buzz from that.

And conversely, what do you hope to gain from a good session?
In my everyday life I am not an overtly assertive individual so a big part of a session (private or professional) for me is about "power exchange", about taking control. I get a thrill from a slave wanting to serve and please me. When a slave hands over control of himself or herself to me I get a real buzz, a hard-to-describe mix of physical and emotional pleasure. There are certain activities which I enjoy more than others but it's the thrill of having the power over a slave that does it for me and to know that the person has chosen to give me such control willingly is such a turn on. If I had to, I would say the activities I enjoy most are foot worship, facesitting, cp and male feminisation. They are all acts that signify a slave's utter devotion to me. Most humans would admit to enjoying being admired or, better still, adored for whatever reason. Unless they've experienced a naked slave kneeling at their feet offering total and complete devotion (however real!) it must be difficult to imagine what a buzz that can provide. And, as a woman it sure as hell beats being treated as an object and wolf-whistled at by builders!

What advice do you offer to those looking to serve a Mistress for the first time?
Be sure that you really are ready to turn fantasy into reality. Be realistic – if you're considering making an appointment with a Mistress remember that the minute you walk into her chambers the fantasy ends. Be sure of the activities you are interested in and, more importantly, those which you are not.

Be aware of the difference between a professional dominatrix and an escort. Whilst the vast majority of professional Mistresses do provide a highly-charged and erotic experience they do not provide sexual services.

Do your research thoroughly and draw up a shortlist of Mistresses who appeal to you. Read a Mistress's website (if she has one) thoroughly to establish what she enjoys, what her limits are and whether you and she are likely to be compatible.

Good communication before a session is crucial. Explain in detail (but concisely) by email or telephone precisely what it is you are hoping for in a session. I've received so many emails from slaves saying "I want to be used by you totally in any way you choose" or "I want to be your 24/7 slave." It's just not realistic.

Do not be embarrassed to discuss your fantasies – it is most unlikely yours will be new to her. A Mistress is not a mind-reader so if you want something you must spell it out. However, don't expect a Mistress to act out a detailed script. She will want the flexibility to build her own script around your interests so that she may also enjoy the session.

Establish that a Mistress conducts sessions according to Safe, Sane & Consensual practices and will issue you a "safe word" to use during a session.

Be polite and respectful in your communications and if you're not don't be surprised if a Mistress refuses to session with you or indeed just ignores you.

Be conscious of a Mistress's time. Like any other professional her time is important and she will not be best pleased if you waste it. Never make an appointment unless you are confident you can keep it. If for any reason you can't then advise her at the earliest opportunity or don't be surprised to be blacklisted if you don't.

Keep an open mind during a session and be prepared to learn more about yourself as a person and the things you may enjoy and not enjoy.

End

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